Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
