did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
