By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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