One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
tell me about the eggs
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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