To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
