someone owes me an orgasm
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize