Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
