is your mom at the bar?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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