turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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