3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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