Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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