I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
