A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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