So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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