I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
