Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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