Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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