friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
