He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
