Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize