Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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