The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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