I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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