You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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