You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
grandma shit on top of the toilet
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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