So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
