what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
