There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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