we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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