youre lurking in front of me
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize