she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
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God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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