Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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