Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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