We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
