I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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