it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
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