you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
