He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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