another moral hangover. fuck.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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