Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
