Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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