I looked at my own cervix.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
