The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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