god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize