i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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