One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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