You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
