Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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