I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
