New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
