So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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