i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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