all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
PS: I just woke up from my shower
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Randomize
